NEVER

ridiculously saying.  

i have no girlfriends.  *sigh

from a kiddo, home always been matters.

parting me from those girls at school.

sometimes, i regret it much.

why do i have to go there, its far, way too far from home.

hehh, it was ok, for while.

but as i grew bigger, i realized that im way far from peeps.

hey, i live in different area, and schooling at different part?

what lh.  *sigh

now as im getting bigger, and on my way to adult life, 

i found that distance has parted me.  goshh.

i always wanted this way.

i always wanted to be with girls.

where you can hang around and chill and chit chatting.

that glass is broken

i haven't seen u for almost two years, n i'm missing u.

dear, how could u leave me while i'm still a baby to myself?

hahh, u have save your life, and my dying to go over it.

life is hard, i can tell, cause i'm facing it now.

i've no wings, i lost one, its hard for me to fly now.

DAD, can u come back home?

i need u.

i haven't seen u, hear u, feel u, for quite a days.

i've been thinking, how it would be if you are here now.

i just can't face this, i'm alone, i feel so left out.

don't you know, it could be easier for me if you were around?

i can show u the best in me, i'm a uni student now.

i scored in finals, i've license now.

i can drive u anywhere, we could travel together.

_____ like we use to.

:'(

different city every nite

its been awhile since my last post.  

life is pretty fair to me.  argghhh, i couldn't bother much.

owh, through this, i've experience bundle of joy, and cry.

nahh, its nothing, its just emotions.

i've spent this whole semester break fully.

i enjoy days at stall, i enjoy having trip at genting.

owh, too much wasting, and too much spend.

but its ok, its worth it.

HHAHHAHHAHAKH!

*padahal kau ske boros.

ok, lost my words.  so, that's why, blogger never been my hobby.

its like its getting on my nerves, every time i write something.

yess, i love my family, friends and foes.  :D

formspring.me

TANYEEEEEE http://formspring.me/NNAR

berkurat-kurat

this junk, have been so left out.  aiyo, sory.  its not like a lot will be reading, but still, i write it just for personal satisfaction.  :D  *puas  oowh, bagaimana nk cerita?  yeah, tough week, with plenty of assignment, quizes, and tests.  pheww.  eh2, dat april fool was YEAY!  a big2 yeay.  and on that day, i had lots of eating thiny with the roomates.  woahh!  ok, i miss my home.  :|

hard

aku penat lah.  kau kate.  

aku diam, aku tak cakap ape2.  

aku sayang kan kau.  kau kate.  

aku angguk, aku tahu tu.  

aku tak nak pergi dari hidup kau.  

aku diam dan bergenang.  aku amek tangan kau, dan genggam.  terima kasih.  aku bisik.

kau diam dan kau titis kan air mata. 

TERIMA KASIH, itu je lah yang aku cakap satu hari tu.

and i guess, its only you.  i've said it before.

mati kau mati, pergi kau pergi

its been so long, yet too earlier to be said.  hello.  

ok, im down, totally, sebab ape yang aku kenal, ape yang aku tawu.

owhhhh.  lelah aku, hancur aku.  kau tak same lagi.

 untuk sekian kali, aku cube lagi untuk paham kau, cube lagi.

yess, you've been a very bad gal.  a very very bad gal.

but as you said, once you killed a cow, u have to make a burger.  :|

dapat tawu yang kau yang aku kenal dulu dah tak same lagi, sikit sakit.

ini KAU

as you fade with the fact, that you are no longer bloom.

you, use to be the pretty2 gal that i wanted to be, the good one.

and yess, now you are just the same as this dead rose.

haihh, ape boleh aku kate lagi andai kau pilih untuk jadi ini.

aku betul2, betul, betul, harap kau masih same.

ku berdoa ke atas nya, moga kau pulih semula.  

(ciloq sket lyric the times :P)
 

when there is still times, when there is still days, when there is still weeks.  just realise.  

that  your life and your future is a dream.  

dream of truly good parent, dream of a mother, and a father.

bile kau persoal kan aku, kau boleh, kau tak perlu jadi macam aku.

ok, kau bosan hidup kau ditentukan yaa?  kau tak nak.

aku nak kau tawu, kau mampu jadi ape yang kau nak.

aku tawu kau masih remaje, punye darah mude.

ya, ya, ya.  aku pun mude, bukan kau saje.

eh, tolong lh, tolong diri sendiri bulehh?

you may say that im a total stalker, im a total fucker.

you annoyed by me, or and so, and so.  
but its for your own sake, i love you.  :|

you turn out to be pretty bitch now, you lost your identity.

you turn out to be with a beast now, that not comes in our fairytale stories.

you turn out to be slutty, and yaa!  i adore you!  
HAAHAHAHKH!  should i lough now?

or should i pity you?  ahh, suggestion please?

ermm try, try to look at yourself in the mirror, and guess what you will see?

a DEAD FLOWER.

BABABA, BYE.

fuck up

kalau kite cantik, kalau kite kurus, kalau kite handsome, kalau kite gagah, kalau kite style, kalau kite cool, kalau kite hebat, sume orang pun suke. haihh, kenape plak?  aku penat, lelah, ikut care kau.  kau mungkin dah tak same, aku kene terime.  yess, kau happy, aku jelez.  aku ganggu hidup kau.  mungkin tu yang kau fikir.  aku pun kene terime, x ckp ape2.

realities, no one really matters.  hey, its been way too far from what you really are. i cant possibly tell who you are now.  you've change, A LOT. things get pretty awful now, you with bunch of somebody, gud2. stop, stop care bout you, that what should i do.  but hello, i cant.
we grew together, we laughed together, we both get caught by mommys, we get scolded, we hate each other, we love each other, and we silent.  as years past, as the memory grows, i now realize that things change. you and me, faced the same phrase of life.  you and me faced different state of situations, different environment, different problems.
hello, its not the them2 thing that matter, but its the you2 thing.
yess, YOU.  i wish you could understand.

for the same reasons, im hating you now and then.
but yet, i cant stop by loving you till the end.
love twins, we grew together, and so we do grew apart.

awesome. 

i cant barely think what have we become now and then.  yess2, we both know that we love each other.  for some mistakes that i didnt realize, for some troubles that i caused you both, im sorry.  deeply.

i hate it when we are now apart.  god, how i miss us.

OVER AND OVER AGAIN

lh, dh sampai plak time berangkat nie.  yeah, padan lh muka, kne belajar lagi.  sekarang, aku dh mule kelas balik, then banyak lh yang teramat lh kilija2.  ouchh!  eh, ade banyak assignment, macam kuat plak nak wat semuanya.  ermm yang tak dapat nak dikate bile semue yang dilakukan serba tak kene.  bese lh, bile hati masih di rumah.  hahahahahkh!  yeah, tabah lh, ini kan kehidupan.  

cuti yang dihabiskan, sangat lh menyeronokkan.  yeay for me!! 

angin, kau sampaikan post ini

untuk yang paling disayangi, mama.  haihh, suda sebulan lebih ye kite tak bersua?  rindunye sangat2!  *sebak   mungking terkadang, diri lalai dan leka, akan payahnya kau membesarkan anak ini.  mungking terkadang, diri ini lebih pentingkan diri dari kau.  mungkin terkadang hati tergalih ke yang lelaki.  mungkin terkadang diri lebih memberontak dari menerima.  haihh, susah nak cakap, memang macam tak guna sungguh fikirkan salah diri.  mama, walau ape yang jadi sekalipun dalam dunie nie, i always love u.  walau sayang itu mungkin tak terlahir dan terzahir di mata kasar, hakikat, tuhan je yang tahu betape perlunye mama di sisi.  

aslinah binti ali, seperti yang tertulis pade surat beranaknye, adalah wanita yang hebat.  aku tak mungkin ade kalau tidak kerane kau.  owh, peritnye hidup yang kau lalui, betape payahnye hidup kau lalui.  dan berape kali aku tidak menghargai?  *maaf   dikala orang laen tidur, kau bekerja, dikala orang mula bekerja, kau rehat untuk seketika.  betapa payah tangan yang membesarkan itu, kini mengangkat, menghayun sudip dan senduk untuk menyuap anak2.  kini kau berdiri sendiri, tanpa suami, masih, kau KUAT.  

suamimu, abdul rashid bin abdul rahman adalah seorang budiman.  tidak banyak sengketanya, gagah memimpin semuanya, seorang ketua yang hebat.  kini, aku tidak punya lagi siapa2 untuk ku panggil papa.  kau pergi, tidak kembali lagi.  tinggalkan kami bertiga sendiri.  tidak pernah sekali terfikir hakikat ini perit, tidak pernah sekali terfikir akan peritnya takdir ini.  kesat lah air mata.  dia masih ade untuk memerhati.  pedih sungguh melihat kau pergi ketika aku masih perlu.  *tahan  owh aku masih boleh berdiri, jangan kau bimbang.

kini tinggal hanye wanita yang bergelar mama dalam hidup ini.  tuhan, kau pelihara lh dia.  :|

i love u till death, mencuba jadi yang terbaik.


she is going to celebrate her birthday on 17/2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!

its got to be more to life

peeps, i juz got back from a camp.  seriously, its a tiring2 day for me.  owh, suda 3 hari 2 malam lh kat sane.  aiyarkk, lg lh gile jadinye, penat tak hengatt punye!!  ok, kat sane mmg best.  its a tutoring training.  as you can see, fellas, i'm goin to be a tutor.  HAHAHAHKH! (: tawu tu klaka.  yeah, kat sane, macam2 kejadah lh yang kami buat.  first day, pasang khemah then panas2 membakar kulit.  hihihi, alamak, terhitam suda (bak kate da diva bos)  then malam tu biasa2 saja. 

 owh second day.  PIARGHHKKK!   macam nak gile tawu, pagi2 ktorg dah kne exercise and blablabla.  petang hari tu ade explorace yang tak macam banyak lak kene lari ke sane ke mari.  and the best part is, kami terpakse memakai kain pelekat bagi lelaki dan bagi perempuan, kami dipakse memakai kaen batik!  *sigh  on the night plak, kami ade night walk, wahh, tak takut nye saye, then nangiss2 tak nak masuk. (: BUT, masuk jugak, berdua org. (: *lega  weehoo, takutnye, ade yang berbaring tengah kelape sawit, ade yang menegur sape tak tentu hale.  hihihi! 

 so far, kami tidur around 1-3 hours je untuk 3 hari itu.  kuat nye nadia.  then keesokan hari nye, kami ade jungle tracking, yang mane letih semalam tak hilang lagi, dah datang yang baru plak.  jungle tracking, so dalam hutankan, AND, ade pacat, hello!  memang lah saye paling penakut tu.  *geli  e e w ! !  owh penat jugak, jalan mendaki ke hutan berkelah.  we are heading to the waterfall. 

 aiyo, manyak tinggi lh.  haa, so tempat ti cantik, tap sorry, tak berbaloi lh penat saye.  pacat naek atas kasut, n nangis2, takut sangt.  for the participation, i got the best woman participant there. *kening2  hehekh!  so pic akan di upload kemudian bulehh?  penat belum habis lagi kawan. (:

migha, me, bean

AND

da best part is, i experience a lorry ride!!  yeah, busuk baengk, bau taik getah.  but it was fun dgn peluh sne sini. ((:

sume busuk. ((:

its a LALALA

its three months now. (:  i've been loving you since yesterday.  sayang, you are so  important to me.  i want you always, and always, and always.  ok, bolehh muntah.  HAHAHAKH!  three months?  can we stand more than that?  harap sekali.  and yess, i've been missing you so much. )':  lh, relax, i'm going home.  he's the one.  mohamad khairil atiq bin pak gedul.  ehh, kamaludin. hehehkh!  mintak2 lh besar cepat, saye penat nak tunggu.

*muntah  mengade sangat dah.  i love u, i always will for now till then.  alamakk!

 this is the one, and only

hari goreng

ok, kita mula cerita tentang hari ini.  mula2, makan roti bakar kaya, yummyumm. ((: owh ade jugak aku minum cereal.  sangat syiokk!  hari nie mane ade kelas banyak, so rehat2 saje lh.  aiyo, pastu, siang tu gi lh plak makan.  tapi aku tak makan nasik ok?  jadi, tempe goreng sebagai hidangan.  (:  gile lh, pastu aku nie kurus.  hihihi!  owh then mkn sayur.  tu je lh yang aku mkn untk ari nie.  hohohokh! 

ok, nie mule nak cite yang best sket.  ape lh nak jadi, hari2 makan, aku paling pemalas.  so, i admit, i'm down, too much task that i neglected.  and so everyday woke up feel like a useless crap.  haihh. |:  ntah knp, dua tiga rasa tak gune betul lh.  *sigh  owh, macam nie lh life, bile kite makin kenal orang, makin lh kite nmpk ape yang kurang.  owh, aku pun tak perfect, jadi, aku terima jugak lh semuanya.  overall, i'm glad i still have them in my life to accompany me. ((: *bersyukur

NEW BEGIN

TERLALU AWAL? TERLALU LAMBAT?

ok, im blogging now. HAHH,HAHAHHHAHAHAKH!

unrational, yet acceptable.

so, its new, i'll be craping, read!

for the uncertainty, i've created a blog.

accidently created, or desirebly intend to.

LALALALALALA!